Monday, April 13, 2015

Happiness and Hamburger Helper

"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms--to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."
--Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

We ran Lookout Mountain this past weekend.

Start time: 5am.

I bet we've run this road in the dark over 200 times since we first started training on it back in 2009.

Over 1600 feet of heart-pumping elevation gain in just under 4.75 miles.

The relentless grade in the dark will make your lungs burn and calves scream.

Sunrise on Lookout Mountain
But the reward at the top is worth the pain.

An inspiring sunrise.

I guarantee it.

I'm still awe-struck at the golden sun rising under a purple sky on this mountain even after 6 years and hundreds of ascents.

A piece of joy to start the day.

No matter what that day holds.

In 2009 I read Viktor Frankl's book "Man's Search for Meaning."

The year I found myself age 40, laid off, broke and contemplating how I was going to tell my kids we were going to lose our home.

I still have the notice of the auction date from the bank.

The premise of Frankl's book is that happiness is a CHOICE independent of circumstances and that if a man does not choose his attitude towards his circumstances......

.....he will become a SLAVE to his circumstances.

I would have considered this advice polyannish nonsense  but for Mr. Frankl being a holocaust survivor who endured unimaginable brutality at Auschwitz during World War II.

"Man's Search for Meaning" was my "survival guide" during 2009-2010.

I found Mr. Frankl's daily habit of looking for something beautiful around him---no matter how small (like a flower)--- to ease the pain of the horrors around him, particularly instructive.

This is when I discovered trail running.

Just before being laid off in 2009, a former colleague dared me to sign up for a race called the Mt. Evans Ascent.  A 14.5-mile race that starts at 10,000 feet and finishes at the 14,000 foot summit of Mt. Evans.

Little did I know that training for this race would be a godsend---the perfect prescription for sanity to get me through the worst personal and professional smack-down of my life.

I began each morning of my job search with a training run.

My long runs were often at altitude near Mt. Evans before sunrise to acclimate for the race.

I discovered the training provided me with many of the things I lost when I lost my job.

A goal.

A place to be.

A sense of accomplishment.

A purpose.

The long training runs at sunrise at 10,000 feet were particularly helpful as they often served as a REMINDER.

A reminder that life can suck--and I mean REALLY suck.

But in the big scheme of the universe, our problems are pretty damned small and that life goes on and is still pretty amazing and beautiful......

....despite the problems we are battling.

But here's the funny thing.

By finding beauty in the chaos....

I developed more than ripped calves and powerful lungs.

I developed STRENGTH.

The strength to not only press on and survive...... but find meaning in the misery and even derive lessons from it.

Lessons like the importance of gratitude and the power of friendship.

Lessons to share with others.

Lessons that would later become the hallmark of a business class at a community college.

Lessons that never would have been learned, and a class that never would have been taught but for the humiliating ass-kicking of 2009-2010.

I have to laugh, if someone had told me back in 2009 while 40, broke and buying Hamburger Helper at Walmart, that losing my job was going to lead to a great teaching gig and a TEDTalk on overcoming challenge, I would have burst out laughing.

Hardee, harr, harr!

But that how the universe sometimes works.

I guess even the universe has a sense of humor sometimes.

Six years later, I marvel and mean really MARVEL how we were able to pay down the $68,000 in debt, replenish the 401(k)s AND manage to keep the house.

It almost sounds like a perfect comeback story.

Almost.

Unfortunately, most comebacks aren't as neat and tidy as stories on the Hallmark channel.

In real life, at least in my experience, the victory celebration cake is eaten while other battles rage on.

Unfortunately.....some battles are still raging on.

I'm running North Table Mesa tomorrow with some friends tomorrow.

I'll be sure to bring my headlamp as we're running early.

It's pretty rocky the first few miles.

And the grade going up is relentless.

But that's okay.

I hear the sunrise is amazing.

AMJ






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