Changing Course

I’ll never forget that morning. 

It was 5am and my Blackberry was already convulsing with messages screaming for attention.  I laced up my Asics and headed out of my $49 motel room and into the darkness. It was February 2008 in Lakeland , Florida and it was cold. 

And the rain was pouring. 

But I needed to run. 

I thought the sprint in the darkness would numb the leftover pain from the hostile meetings yesterday and the "food-fight" meets ahead of me today.  On this morning, however, I was unable to outrun the demons that had been drafting me the past two years at this job.  As my stride increased, so did the rain.  I was drenched but didn't care.  As I approached the busy intersection I should have slowed but my stride only increased.  Despite the solid red “Do Not Walk” signal, I continued to run looking neither left nor right. Only straight.  It’s not that I wished to die but simply cared less about living.  It was only upon the return to my dingy motel room that I realized what I had done—or almost done.  It was at that moment, in that motel room, that I decided I had to change course.  

But inertia is a powerful force. 

Whether it’s squirreling cash in a Vanguard IRA, losing 10 pounds of flab to fit the size 32 pants, raising grateful kids, or deciding to quit that unhealthy job, life seems to blow a strong and steady headwind to discourage us from making the course changes we need to make, to arrive at the ports in life we were meant to arrive. 

Other times, however, fate forces our hand and provides a horse-pill sized dose of reality to force us to change course. 

After my run in the rain that February morning, I visited my doctor to obtain a THIRD round of antibiotics after a double dose of walking pneumonia.  On this visit however, my doctor’s prognosis included a word that left a tattoo on my memory:  depression. 

Reality check. 

Big time. 

It has been over four years since that morning run in the rain. 

My decision to change course in my career is a “story in process” so to speak, with, what looks like a  happily-ever-after ending. 

After leaving the big salary, big headache corporate accounting job to take an executive recruiting gig--only to get laid off one year later as the economy flew into a hurricane-- left the nerves and family finances in near ruin. 

But the sun came up again. 

And the dividends of deciding to change course slowly emerged. 

After graduating college over 20 years ago, I can proudly and LOUDLY say I love my job. 

I am at port I was meant to arrive at. 

As a faculty member in the Business Department for a community college in Denver, Colorado. 

I would be a liar if I said that I don’t occasionally feel the urge to turn back to my former life of comfortable misery and snag the big paycheck. 

But by the end of that second cup of Starbucks, I always remember that change requires courage. And am constantly reminded that the time off with the family that a teaching career provides is time I can NEVER buy back. 

Ever. 

I remember a question a friend of mine named Greg once asked: “ which life is fuller, maintaining a life of comfortable misery or pursuing a difficult and perhaps uncertain victory?”  

Two weeks later, Greg quit his job in Denver and joined the Navy to become a chaplain in Iraq. 

I say good luck Greg.   

And thanks for helping me find the courage. 


AMJ

There Are No Theme Parks in Self-Doubt

Self-doubt is a lonely place.

A place you don't want to visit for very long.

An extended stay here is expensive--big time.

It may not cost a lot of money to visit.

But it will certainly bankrupt your energy and motivation.

Self-doubt is a place where you will hear whispers in your head.

Whispers asking nasty questions like "can I really do this?"

These whispers repeat.

Over.

And over.

Trips to self-doubt often occur as you are about to do something big.

Really big.

Like a job interview.

An important sales presentation.

A first marathon.

It seeks to undermine all the energy and hard work you have put forth.

It seeks to convince you that you will fail in your effort.

Or worse...

It will convince you to quit.

Or not begin at all.

So how do we parole ourselves from this mental prison?

There's no magic key--believe me, I've looked.

Instead, I have found only a few simple reminders to help me escape...

Reminders such as:

1.  Reminding myself of the reasons I want to achieve the goal.
2.  Reminding myself that I have put in the required time and work to achieve the goal.
3.  Reminding myself that others with equal (or even lesser ability) have achieved this very same goal.
4.  Reminding myself of previous times where self-doubt crept in--and I succeeded anyway. 

These corny reminders won't stop the trips on the "Self-Doubt Express."

But they can minimize the FREQUENCY and SEVERITY of the trips.

In running, the battle is often won in our head, BEFORE it is won on the track.

I have found this to be true in most other endeavors.

So the next time you find your confidence shaking...

And your mind wandering towards the train to self doubt...

I say start walking to another train.

A train going to a better location.

And leave behind the train to self-doubt.

Because you have already been there..

And it's not worth a second trip.

AMJ

The Shared Miles are the Best Miles

I ran the Bolder Boulder 10k with my 12-year old son last week.

It was his first road race.

And it was great.

Nothing like watching your 12-year old finish a 6.2 mile race in a stadium with 30,000+ people congratulating you for a job well done.

While standing in line for the our post-race bag of goodies, my son, Alec, told me he thought the race was "easy."  And that he wanted to run the Georgetown to Idaho Springs Half Marathon together this August.

Whoa.

I was blown away.

I thought he viewed his dad lacing up every morning as some kind of alien ritual. Akin to doing algebra homework on Saturday morning. 

I thought he found the Monday and Thursday Bolder Boulder training runs with his 7th grade classmates as drudgery.

I feared the Bolder Boulder would be his one and ONLY race.

I was wrong.

And glad I was wrong.

Watching him train for, and complete this race was a reminder that sometimes, just sometimes, the parenting gods throw us clueless moms and dads a bone.

A reminder that our kids do indeed take to heart and model at least SOME of the good things we try and impart on them.

Unfortunately, our kids rarely TELL us we are influencing them in a positive way.  We parents have to figure that out for ourselves.

In between all our failings.

Failings that are certainly noticed.

And unfortunately taken to heart as well.

That race reminded me of something else:

Achieving big goals and pushing beyond what you thought was possible feels great.

But helping SOMEONE ELSE achieve big goals and helping SOMEONE ELSE push beyond what they thought was possible feels even greater.

And yields greater results.

I have found this to be true when building a great team at work.

Or building great kids at home.

It's not easy.

You make a lot of mistakes--and I mean a lot.

But if you persevere.

And strive to do the right thing for your team, and your kids...

And strive to be CONSISTENT in being a positive influence...

Slowly, slowly, positive results ensue.

Often when you least expect them.

So tomorrow morning I will lace up for my morning run.

It's Summer time, thus, the sun will be up.

I won't be alone though.

Alec is coming with me.

We'll probably run four...maybe five miles.

Just like we did yesterday.

He says he enjoys the miles.

I do to.

It's a good thing...

We have some training to do.

Georgetown to Idaho Springs is a long way.

AMJ

The Problem with Plan-B

The problem with having a Plan-B is that we often take it.

It's a fall-back plan.

To keep us from failing.

Or so we think.

The problem with falling back to "Plan B" is that we do just that...

We fall back.

Way back.

The actor Will Smith nailed this notion in an an interview:

"There's no reason to have a Plan B because it distracts from Plan A. Being realistic (i.e. having a Plan "B") is the most commonly traveled road to mediocrity...it's unrealistic to walk into a room, flip on a switch and have the lights turn on...fortunately, Edison didn't think so."

In last October's Denver Rock and Roll Marathon, there were 2398 finishers.

Yet there were 8957 finishers for the HALF-marathon.

Don't get me wrong, running a half-marathon is indeed no small victory.

It requires a great deal of training and discipline.

But when less than 25% of the Denver MARATHON participants actually run the MARATHON event, I wonder how many people short-changed themselves.

How many took the "realistic Plan-B" option of the half-marathon for fear of failing?

I think taking a "realistic Plan-B" is a strategy of playing aggressive defense.

It's managing the downside.

Instead of reaching for what we really want--and can do.

We play it in our running and in our lives.

All the time.

An aggressive defense chock full of "Plan-B's" will often prevent losing.

The problem is...

It also prevents winning.

AMJ

Food For Thought--Part II

Distance training will change the way you look at food.

In a big way.

As a non-runner, I saw food as a source of pleasure.

A social-facilitator when meeting up with friends.

And an indulgence whilst watching TV--especially a Bronco game. I mean, hey, nothing like snarfing an entire cheese-lover's pizza dipped in garlic butter and ranch dressing to satisfy the palette, right?

Distance training changed all of that.

Big time.

I have found pre-race snarf-fests like that will make for some truly miserable stops at the aid station porta-johns--assuming their are some.

Distance training DEMANDS we change the way we look at food.

The change begins not in the isles of the grocery store.

But in our heads.

Because first,  food must be viewed as more than a source of PLEASURE.

It must be viewed as a source of FUEL.

For our body.

And our mind.

To function at peak condition.

Especially when the course gets tough.

And it WILL get tough.

When we change the way we look at food, I think our shopping list changes.

Automatically.

And for the better.

Think about it.

If you view a Totino's meat-lover's pizza and 2-liter bottle of Mountain Dew through the "lens" of good fuel or bad fuel instead of the "lens" of pleasure, I think the contents of your shopping cart HAS to change.

This is especially true after some hard lessons on the trails.

Lessons that include long runs involving bathroom breaks in the woods where there are no bathrooms--or toilet paper.

A result of carbo-loading on Bud Lites and smothered chimichangas the evening before.

But here's what's cool...

A great diet will begin to yield great performances....

And great performances will yield a great diet...

Thus a wonderful feedback loop begins.

Success breeds more success.

But there's more...

A killer diet to super-charge the training up those gnarly hills will spill over into your NON-running life.

Opting for hot cocoa over the Double Dutch Fudge ice cream after dinner will make for better sleeping.

Grabbing the Chobani pineapple yogurt over the Lamar's 12-inch maple doughnut means not "crashing" for your 1 o'clock class Accounting class.

I'm serious.

In other words...

Saying "bon appetit" to the right foods and saying "thanks anyway" to the wrong foods will not only help us push through and go the distance on the trails.

But help us push through and go the distance in LIFE.

AMJ

Food For Thought

What are you putting your head today?

Are you feeding it a turkey sandwich?

Or a Wendy's "Baconator?"

The late, great business philosopher, Jim Rohn, often said that in five years we will become the sum of every book we read, and every person we associate with.

A profound statement.

With profound implications.

So, what are you reading?

And, who are you associating with?

Because as Mr. Rohn opined, we will arrive SOMEWHERE in five years.

In other words, who we become and where we arrive depends on what we "feed" our heads.

The books we read.

The friends we make--or don't make.

The TV shows we watch--or don't watch.

The radio shows we listen to--or don't listen to.

The people we help--or don't.

All helped determine how we arrived where we are RIGHT NOW.

And will continue to determine where we arrive, FIVE YEARS FROM NOW.

So perhaps it's time for a diet for some of our choices.

And time to gorge ourselves on others.

So we don't arrive at the wrong destination chosen by other people.

But arrive at the right destination chosen by us.


AMJ

Run Like an Old Woman

Nothing like a good butt-kicking to instill humility.

I recently ran up Lookout Mountain with a running buddy I hadn't seen in a while.

I could barley keep up with him.

He's about ten years older than I.

While choking and gasping, I recall him lamenting his "disappointing" time at a marathon he just finished.

He ran a 3:10 time.

Humble pie ala mode.

This experience made me reflect on a section in Chris Mc Dougall's book, "Born to Run", where he insightfully points out how human  physiology is turned on it's head when it comes to distance running--particularly distances beyond the marathon.

He points out that the winners of many ultra marathons are women, not men.  And that the top finishers are often the 40 year old school teachers, not the 20 year old freshmen.

In other words, what we lose in SPEED as we get older, we gain in DISTANCE. 

In other words....it looks like it's EXPERIENCE that matters.

Looks like EXPERIENCE trumps youth and talent when going long.

ESPECIALLY when going long.

Sounds like a metaphor for life.

I think experience trumps youth and talent--in MANY endeavors.

Running a successful business.

Being a great teacher

Flying a plane.

Raising good kids.

So the next time I am out for a run, and I find myself heckled by the occasional loudmouth motorist for "running like an old woman," I'll try not to get upset.

I might even try to smile.

And know that "running like an old woman" is exactly what I should be doing.

AMJ